Style Syntax

You may well be able to find something from each Kibbe type that you could potentially wear. And when two types both seem like pretty strong contenders, it may seem like you’ll never nail it down. But one thing I’ve found that can help is defining yourself by your “Don’ts”: what doesn’t work for you, or what key part of the recommendations you can wear, but aren’t absolutely necessary. For instance, confusion between Soft Dramatic and Theatrical Romantic seems to be common: are you Dramatic with a Romantic undercurrent, or are you Romantic with a Dramatic undercurrent? Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell. But if you realize, like some people I’ve come across in the Kibbe world have, that while waist definition looks good on you, you don’t actually need it, then you can probably put yourself in Soft Dramatic.

This should not be confused with “Every recommendation for your type should look good on you.” You should be able to follow your recommendations painlessly and effortlessly, and maybe just skip one or two things. Like I don’t do drop waists, for example, although I might try them on if I lose some weight. But following your recommendations should cut your shopping time in half at the very minimum, and if you’re struggling, you’re probably in the wrong type altogether.

Sometimes, especially if you’re in Classic, Natural, or Gamine, it can be hard to tell which side of the yin/yang balance within your type you fall on. If you’re deciding between Flamboyant Gamine and Soft Gamine, for example, and you seem close to plain old Gamine, you can ask yourself if you do better with rounded shapes or sharp, angled shapes. Do you need a narrow silhouette that then has angles placed on top, or do you do well with a narrow silhouette that is also rounded?

Sometimes there’s a lot of “Cans” in a potential type… but it may the “Don’ts” that reveal our Image Identity.

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One of the things that really trips people up when they’re trying to figure out their Kibbe is the idea of essence. Essence is not personality. It is something outside yourself–it is what you project. Kibbe’s idea of creating a total look that harmonizes with your essence comes from old Hollywood, where a complete image was manufactured for a star. You can have an Image Identity that may not match up perfectly with your likes and dislikes. That is why Kibbe has a “fantasy” quiz in the book, so you can determine if there is a mismatch between your type and your inner desires. You still, however, have to figure out a way to express your inner desires through your Kibbe type, not by just going with what appeals to you.

But how do you figure out your essence? Jane Rekas has a McJimsey/Northrup essence quiz, but some of those questions were difficult for me to answer, or I felt like I didn’t fit. Also, it won’t give you the difference between, say, a Soft Gamine essence and a Flamboyant Gamine essence.

I think there are two questions that you can ask yourself to help shed light on your essence.

1. Which actresses/celebrities have you now, or in the past, felt a kinship to, or just liked a lot?
I think this is where Mad Men‘s “Jackie or Marilyn?” question comes into play. I have noticed, for instance, that it is women with a Romantic essence who get really into Marilyn Monroe. I like some of her movies, but for me, she is no different from any other star. Audrey Hepburn, on the other hands, was the one I was obsessed with as a teenager. Think back to whose poster was on your wall and whose movies you watched over and over again. Chances are it was someone who had something you connected with, someone who had a similar essence to your own.

The other female celebrity who really captivated me was Edie Sedgwick. How I ever mistook myself for a Soft Natural, I’ll never know.

2. Which actresses/celebrities have people compared you to?
I have been told by friends that they were watching a movie and felt like they were watching me on screen twice: Breathless (Jean Seberg) and Drive (Carey Mulligan). The only other celebrity I’ve ever been compared to is Juliette Lewis. I’m not sure if she is FG, but she seems to dress like one. I think that the answer to this question can reveal what other people see in you, and what vibe you give off. In other words, your essence.

You can also ask yourself how people usually describe you, but I think this may end up getting confused with personality. The danger with both of the questions above, of course, is that you could have always been hiding your light under a bushel and afraid to see yourself, say, as an outwardly sexy Romantic. One of the things that makes Kibbe a genius is his ability to see through people to get to this essence. When you look at the book, all of the women are dressed in the same blah 80s conservative workwear, and he somehow saw past it and saw who really was C and could wear it and put the rest in entirely different clothes.

Anyway, does this work for you? Or do you come up with something totally different than your essence? I know that these questions were helpful for me, but they may not work for everyone, for various reasons. I intended for this post to sort of help nudge people along on their journey to figuring out their essence.

This is something that most of us who have played around with Kibbe have experienced at one point or another; I find it’s rare that people can look at the info and then immediately place themselves where they belong. So most of us spend at least a little bit of time dressing ourselves in the wrong Kibbegory–hopefully without purchasing an entire new wardrobe in the wrong type!

R Kim channeling FG Audrey
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With that in mind, I thought I’d share some of the things I noticed when I had placed myself in the wrong type.

1. You now hate shopping. You go to the store, find the stuff in your type, and it makes you want to turn around and go home. This is what I experienced when I considered myself a Soft Gamine, although it could have been because I was only looking at the kind of things that people pin, which usually lean Ingenue. Regardless, the version of Soft Gamine I was looking at wasn’t working for me. Which is lucky, really, because I didn’t end up spending money on clothes I’ll never wear.

2. Something feels off. You may feel restricted. Or, like me in Soft Natural, I was comfortable, but I felt like I was in my pajamas. Your energy level is down. The clothes feel heavy. Something just isn’t working, even though the clothes look fine.

3. There is something missing that you feel like you have to add. When I was dressing Soft Natural, with every outfit I put on, I kept on feeling this urge to add something geometric and bold. At the time, I thought I was adding a Flamboyant Natural influence, so it was OK. Now I realize that it was because of the geometry of my face, which requires some bold geometrics, but of the FG variety.

4. You would not be able to use Kibbe’s title for your Image Identity with a straight face. I would never be able to use Soft Natural’s title of “Fresh and Sensual Lady” without cracking up. I am none of these things! FG’s “Sassy Chic”? Sure.

Did I miss anything? What has helped you figure it out when you were in the wrong type?