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If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know that for most of my Kibbe journey, I thought I was a Gamine of some kind. But when I went to see David, I ended up being SN. It might seem like I’d be frustrated with the time wasted, especially since I had landed on SN for myself a year prior to seeing David, but he steered me away from it at the time. But the way I see it, everything happened as it was supposed to, and all of the steps of my journey were necessary for me to get to a place where I am happy with where I am with my Image Identity. I also think that my experience can be informative for other people who may feel frustrated, or who worry that they’ve spent too long identifying with a certain ID and being public about it to change to something else.
First, I would say that it needs to be the right time for you. With my season, I actually had to move away from Autumn for a while in order to appreciate it on myself. The time away, and seeing the difference it made for me to wear my Autumn colors, made it possible for me to be happy sticking with an Autumn palette. I think it can be the same with Kibbe. It may not be the right time for you to inhabit that Image ID; you might need some time in something else first to get it out of your system. I immediately connected with FG when I found Kibbe because the trendier, edgier styles were close to what I was already wearing. I needed the time and space with those more styles (which look chic and sophisticated on an FG!) before I was able to move on to my own SN space. And this can take as long as you need. David himself has said in recent Q&As and interviews that it’s fine to experiment. The Image ID will always be there when you’re ready.
Second, a single photo can’t tell the whole story. When David guided me away from SN and towards SG, it was because of a photo I had taken for line sketch purposes. Photos can be inaccurate, and only my curve came across, not my width. So if you’ve done the line-sketch game in the book, and something isn’t feeling quite right as you’re trying to put it into practice in real life, it could be an issue with the photo. Is it reflecting reality, or did it distort what’s there?
Third, I would say that the process in the new book truly is the process that will get you there. But you need to be ready, as I said above. When I did get to SN on my own, it was from doing the original SK exercises as they were meant to be done: slowly, allowing myself to absorb what the exercise was trying to teach me. The book games work the same way; they help you see and accept what is there. Even if you feel like you want to jump ahead to the sketch, it’s worth it to go through the entire process.
Lastly, I think it’s hard to admit that you were wrong about yourself, especially if, like me, you have been a more visible presence in the community. But the important thing isn’t what other people think about you and your ID. It’s also not the sunk cost (both financial and, in some cases, emotional) of thinking you were a different ID before. It is about what’s going to serve you moving forward.
I feel at peace with the long, winding road of my Kibbe journey. It all brought me to where I could confidently and happily step into my Soft Natural Image Identity. It doesn’t matter if it takes nine weeks or nine years==the entire process can be valuable