Why Strictly Kibbe Is Private

This is something I see a lot in online chatter. People don’t really understand why Strictly Kibbe is a private group on Facebook, and why it’s not public. There are many reasons for this, and none of them have to do with being elitist, or making David’s work harder to access.

The first is history. The Kibbe community was already established in private and secret groups on Facebook, and it made sense to stay on Facebook so that when we started a group with a new philosophy, people could easily join from the old community.

The next reason is privacy. I personally don’t like posting a lot of pictures of myself online, and I’m sure a lot of other people feel the same way. The Kibbe process is a very personal one, and I believe it works best when it is done in a space where people can allow themselves to vulnerable. I have clicked on photos people post on imgur when they’re asking for Kibbe help on other sites, for example, and I see random people leaving rude comments. We want people to be able to go through the process in a supportive, protected environment.

The last is an element of control, although maybe not in the way you think. I do want as many people to be able to access the information as possible, and as long as people follow the process, they are allowed in. The only people I don’t allow in the group are people who have a profile picture that catches my eye in a negative way (something that sets off my radar) or people who I know have an online presence where they are putting forth Kibbe misinterpretations. I have seen people use his test to type people or put portions of his book on their website while letting people believe that it is their own work. And if people make YouTube videos or blog posts that propagate misinformation (it is easier to blog or make videos about the wrong way than the right way, unfortunately), we also don’t want them to have the privilege of getting feedback from David either. David gives the kind of help and feedback other people have paid thousands of dollars to receive from him. But while you do need a Facebook account, I don’t look for things like how long you’ve been on Facebook–I know people create accounts just to join the group.

Additionally, David has information on his own site, www.davidkibbe.co, so if you’re on the fence, I suggest checking it out. The way he works with his own materials is very different from the way it’s presented elsewhere. The process isn’t what everyone wants, but when it works for you, there is no comparison!

I hope this clarifies some of logic behind why we have made the choice we have. The intent has always been to create the best space we can to learn about and discuss David’s work.

17 Comments on Why Strictly Kibbe Is Private

  1. Double Letter Lady
    February 6, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and I have to be honest I’ve never had more than cursory interest in Kibbe, mostly because I know that it’s not an easy DIY and the fee is out of my range. (I did look at some pinterest boards but, as you have said in other blog posts those are often inaccurate.) But despite studying extensively in other typing systems, and even trying my best to ignore systems all together and utilize the Curated Closet method, I’m still lost on a personal style. I would want to purchase Kibbe’s book, but at over $200, plus taxes it’s out of my range. If I were to create an account and join the group, am I likely to be accepted? And how helpful would it be without the book?

    • stylesyntax
      February 6, 2020 at 11:12 pm

      All you need to do to join is follow the instructions, and you don’t need the book. 🙂

      • Double Letter Lady
        February 7, 2020 at 12:01 am

        Thank you!!!

        • Double Letter Lady
          February 7, 2020 at 11:50 am

          *sorry for replying so much*

          I just joined under the name “Emma Smith” and I found the color group as well. I hope I answered everything correctly. I can’t wait to get started.

  2. Elizabeth Stewart
    February 7, 2020 at 4:04 am

    I have found the Kibbe University exercises really helpful, and highly recommend joining the Strictly Kibbe group so that you can work through them. It’s the only way I have managed to find my own personal style, and believe me, I have tried a lot. It has completely changed the way I feel about myself and my short, curvy figure. I do have the book, but the author has changed some of his categories so it might be simpler to take the course without it. Good luck!

  3. Alex
    February 7, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    To be completely frank, it’s a pity that you even had to justify that the group is private – all these reasons are so valid that seem obvious. Pity that so much negativity is coming your way. I see so much garbage said about Kibbe’s system and David Kibbe himself online that it shocks me every time. A relatively closed community is the way to go and just more power to you for protecting it.
    The main problem is that most people don’t want to put in the work at all. They don’t want to broaden their horizons and accept the fact that knowing their image ID can’t turn them immediately into their own superb stylists. The key goal for most people is just to determine their image ID – not learn their features or learn anything at all. Once again, as if it gives people some kind of relief to fit themselves in some category (aka box) – not get to learn to accept themselves and love their own features. After learning the basics of Kibbe’s system, I would be able to relatively successfully dress myself according to my features even without knowing my image identity, to be honest.
    Besides, there’s so much dirt being said about David Kibbe online now that I just hope he’ll never get to read it or hear it – it’s just so unfair and so low that it’s beyond any ethical standards. One of the most recent ridiculous things I’ve stumbled upon was that David Kibbe is insecure about his own height, which is why in his system 5’6” is considered to be on the tall side. Nothing can get such vile things out of people’s heads – they love to hate and Kibbe’s approach is based on love, which makes it unaccessible to many. This stupid idea about height would have made me laugh, but it astonished me instead as being so hateful, poisonous, and short-sighted.
    I hope you’ll be able to manage the negativity that comes your way. Wishing you all the inspiration and strength in the world!

    • stylesyntax
      February 8, 2020 at 3:16 pm

      Well, people who are convinced that there is something off with how David views height are generally people who are too tall for their chosen Image ID and haven’t dealt with their resistance, so there’s that.

      I have been doing this for many years now, and I have always held steadfastly to what I have felt is correct, and it has always been preferable to me to have ten people who are getting value from doing things David’s way than having 15,000 people who aren’t committed. The negativity doesn’t bother me; I just want people to understand that the point isn’t to be up in some ivory tower, but rather to just have the best setup for what we want to do.

      • Alex
        February 8, 2020 at 3:56 pm

        That is an admirable approach! Your work is invaluable and I think I speak for many people saying ‘thank you’ to you and other group admins!

        • Elizabeth Stewart
          February 9, 2020 at 9:40 am

          Completely agree with Alex – more power to you and David Kibbe, whose method I have found really transformative on many levels. Can’t thank you both enough for all this. I would say it’s a psychological and spiritual experience to really work through the exercises. If people want something less, there’s a lot of that out there. But only one David Kibbe!

  4. Gitte Van de Velde
    February 24, 2020 at 4:52 am

    I have been thinking whether to write this, and how, for a while.

    THIS IS LONG. Don’t read it when you’re grumpy and wanna go to sleep, but in a good mood when you’re very awake.

    So, let’s start with a disclaimer: I am what you could consider and ex-merriamist (even the PAID forum) that has pretty much “converted” to SK.

    That makes me very understandable of both sides. Up until a few months ago – I think you’re very aware of that – I was on merriamstyle’s forum, and in her youtubecomments, all very visible to the eye, kinda, having sometimes rather wild free-speech discussions, referring to all kinds of blogs and youtubers. It wasn’t really private, except the PAID forum which kind of was a mess and now I and some others are gone there it’s a graveyard, I really liked merriam’s approach:: very open, logical-seeming, a math formula. Easy to follow-rules instead of intuition (because,let’s admit it, most people don’t know what’s good for themselves), very free-speech, giving commentary was – back then at least- very allowed. Somewhere previous autumn, so autumn 2018, when I already was a ‘merriamist’, I read in her yt comments about strictly kibbe. Thinking it would be the same because I still thought Merriam was very sincere etc, I joined.

    As a non-native english speaker, the very first thing, david’s writing, was very difficult for me. Then there was also the frowning upon discussing other sources, all the privacy (which I sometimes still find annoying, as it keeps me from disproving a current merriamist’s point by showing screenshots how DK ACTUALLY works). Coming from a youtube background, those factors are a big change. Rather shocking, tbh, and as a newbie it really makes seem SK as a cult were we all have to strictly follow DK’s holy word, even if it is unclear – please don’t get angry, I changed my mind now – that was my opinion and perspective up until a few months ago. You of course don’t see it that, as you saw the group change from the mess it was pre-kibbe to the SK it was now: you saw things change gradually and know group history. And compared to the mess it was, DK coming in the group was a blessing. I didn’t, I went from a very free-speech (not really, nowadays) space with clear quick solutions to a place where what only 1 persons says is true and a lot of the things that would give a ‘quick solution’ aren’t allowed.

    I understand now why certain attitudes and rules are in SK. After having been on a forum where pretty much discussing endlessly whether Taylor Swift is a gamine and dramatic, and getting insanely frustrated shopping because I thought I was a pure gamine at said forum and a certain sweater was a touch to oversized to be “good” for me, and actually also several, actual, mistypings (no surprise there! Some equally ex-merriamist friends went from thinking they’re a “soft dramatic” (merriam’s version, that is) to thinking they’re a flamboyant natural, or from a “tr” to a soft natural etc. A lot of that being due to also being totally wrong what makes a certain image ID. (natural =/= oversized, we should have realized months earlier). Then we discovered your blog, as merriam’s content was a bit mehh aka out of boredom, saw you writing what is much closer to the truth about what merriam does, and decided to give SK a chance. With digging up old posts (post-2016, that is), reading up on grouphistory, beign somewhat patient, and most of all – KNOWING what was waiting for us, having more background about the differences between the youtube ‘kibbe’ world and SK instead of just ignorance and a mention of SK’s existence – made me pretty much convert. I still have some doubts sometimes, or am slightly annoyed at the unclarity of certain things; I am a very logical-minded person who prefers an easy-to-follow checklist approach, which SK is rather far from. And tbh, I still want to just quickly know what image ID I am and through SK, that will take a while, if ever. (by the time I have saved up enough money to get to see DK, he perhaps won’t work anymore. Assuming he didn’t write the book when he was 20 he isn’t young anymore and it will be at least 3,5 years until I have a job and can start saving up properly and if my calculations are right, I will need to have saved up around 5000 – 6000 euros, which saving up 100 every month will take 5 years. Will he still be working in 8 years? Who knows?) But I do see the big difference between the truly ‘gasp’ reveals and the make-overs the average imitator makes, and the focus on the htt concept also makes a big difference – I write ‘we’ because without some friends from the same background and us re-encouraging each other, me ‘converting’ wouldn’t have been possible and it makes me very understandable of newbie’s from a just-the-book or merriam background coming into the group.

    So, long story short: coming from a not-SK approved background straight to SK is a rather big shift, with very different ideals that can seem discouraging. It’s not easy to let lose of what someone else told and seemed very logical (while it are weird braingymnastics, tbh, I watched enough youtube videos to realize that) Your blog helps people be aware of said difference, and I should have discovered it much, much, much earlier – it would have saved me lots of money and time (the black sparkly cardigan was €100, but I was cool because of merriam’s ‘very pale nearly-unpigmented skintones are cool’ theory, so easy to find black is totally allowed!) and with enough patience, reading up and rereading and encouragement even people like me, who made memes about the ‘cult’ aspect of SK until a few months ago, can totally change their minds.

    So congratulations 🙂

    ps: if I am not clear, this is a sincere comment. I sincerely did pretty much change my mind 180°

  5. Charity
    March 28, 2020 at 7:04 am

    I’m reluctant to join Facebook for various reasons, but I do understand why it is “Closed.” In reading a lot of this blog last night, including the comments, I hear Kibbe is interested in one day using YouTube. I hope he does! Both to learn from him and have him correct misinformation.

    If I can ask, does Kibbe still hold the same views about how the types gain weight — the SN getting rounder but retaining their shape but the FN becoming ‘stocky’ on their upper body?

    • stylesyntax
      March 31, 2020 at 12:05 am

      I wouldn’t use it as a stronger indicator than anything else…

  6. Su
    July 13, 2020 at 3:15 pm

    I would like to enter the facebook group, but they didn’t accept me.?

    • stylesyntax
      July 15, 2020 at 1:31 pm

      Follow the instructions on Facebook. 🙂

    • stylesyntax
      July 22, 2020 at 12:53 am

      You have to follow the instructions. 🙂

  7. Rachael
    May 7, 2023 at 6:32 pm

    I realize this is an old blog post, but I just learned about Kibbe a few weeks ago and I was hoping to join the Strictly Kibbe Facebook group to learn more. Does the group still exist?

    • stylesyntax
      May 22, 2023 at 3:06 pm

      Hi Rachel, yes it does, but it’s currently hidden from search due to the overwhelming amount of requests to go through. You can follow the Strictly Kibbe Official Facebook page for updates.


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